Mama Chibaya says goodbye

By Janie Telling* After fifteen years of "marriage" to SOS Children's Village Bindura in Zimbabwe, it is time for Mama Chibaya to retire. What are her thoughts on her years as an SOS mother? While an SOS mother retains that title for life, there comes a time in most SOS mother's lives when the rigours of looking after a large family become too much, maybe due to age, or maybe, as with Mama Chibaya because of ill health. When a mother decides that she can no longer cope, she retires, maybe to a house in the village or maybe to a place of her choice. Whichever she chooses, it is common for her to retain links with the village where she has lived and it is also common for her children to maintain contact with her, maybe even visiting with children of their own. Mama Chibaya surrounded by her children - Photo: J. Telling 'Rewards and challenges' might sum up Mama Chibaya's fifteen years with SOS Children's Village Bindura. "The behaviour of two of my children, a girl who needed to be assisted by a clinical psychologist and a boy who was sent to Northcote (a residential centre) for behavioural rehabilitation were my biggest challenges. They had real behavioural problems, but recently the girl has made a sudden improvement." She comments about the 'challenges' side. And of the 'rewards'? "I have other children who I also cherish. Tongai is doing a Bachelor of Commerce in South Africa and Tigere is in Canada studying for a Bachelor of Science degree. Miriam has found work and a place to live, just as though she had never been living at the village. Cleopas also has a job - his wife works at the Kindergarten here. Sunboy is also working and leading his own life successfully." "Children make mistakes", she adds, "but what is positive is that they recognise those mistakes and make positive decisions and strides in later life." "When we come here (to the village), one has to have love and commitment. These children need love and attention. One needs to understand this in order to know how to deal with them. Life in the village requires us to have love and the spirit of togetherness in support of this 'core business' of childcare. It is very hard to break the marriage I have established with SOS Children's Village Bindura. I still remain a mother to these children even though I may no longer be here." Everyone in the village will miss Mama Chibaya, from the youngest baby to the oldest of the youths, alongside the co-workers and those children who have now left the village to lead their own lives. *Janie Telling is SOS co-worker in southern Africa.